Heya Freaks and Minx!!
Am I the only one who is super stoked that 2010 is finally over?!”
Man, what a yearΒ this has been. I am going to dedicate this column to random awesome memories of 2010, give my predictions for 2011, and talk about the lack of HORROR in the horror genre.
Are YOU ready?! Let’s start this biotch!
The Best Of 2010…Ok, the best of what?!
I don’t know if you guys know this about me but I HATE making lists. Lists, to me, areΒ personal opinions that no one is going to completely agree with except the person who wrote them and trying to convince everyone that they should have your same opinion is a bit narcissistic to me. I mean, come on! Everything is subjective, isn’t it? But during the end of the year, I like to reminisce about what I liked during the year and name a bunch because I’m hoping the people who didn’t catch them will take the initiative after seeing my opinion.
With all that jargon being said, I regret to have to say that I could not make that list this year.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of films that I have seen that I have liked such as RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE , NIGHT OF THE DEMONS REMAKE, BLOOD NIGHT: THE LEGEND OF MARY HATCHET (which is technically a 2009 film but I caught it in the 2010 con circuit) plus a few others that were really good, nothing caught my attention as THE BEST OF. Other people have thrown in the titles FROZEN, A SERBIAN FILM, and HUMAN CENTIPEDE as some of the better films of the year but still nothing as “the best”.
I think that this year was just a very slow year for the horror genre. Nothing came out that sticks to me as amazing but that is not to say that I didn’t like some very much. I did. But let’s be real guys, this year has hit a plateau and nothing came out that was really the cream of the crop.
Here’s to hoping 2011 will give me reason to make a top 20 list!
My Year In Review
I have to say that although big parts of 2010 were pretty lame, I have some amazing memories from this year and some pretty funny ones as well!
-My first “short film” IT’S GROUNDHOG’S DAY, CHAINSAW SALLY was let out in the beginning of this year and it really showed me how awesome and dedicated fans can be. You guys really pushed it and supported me in it and I couldn’t thank you, or April and JimmyO Burril, enough for the support.
-I finally got to play an axe murdering psycho in James Morgart and Suzi Lorraine’s TALES FROM THE UNDERBELLY OF HELL! Now what made this so kick ass is not only the fact that I got to star along side of Ms. Lorraine, Aaron and Jessica Dlugasch, and Jen Morgart, but also that I scared the living sh*t out of Suzi with my axe hacking skills! You guys should have seen her face, it was awesome. Also, I’m pretty sure it was James’ fault but at one point I had a mouth full of soap and green tea tasting fake poison that I spat all over the place and almost puked. Wait til you guys see that part of the film, there was no acting there! Haha! And NOT TO BE LEFT OUT, Mr. Pigman 2000!!!! He was my proudest creation ever. Stay tuned for him ;)
-2010 was the first year for WOMEN IN HORROR MONTH. I got to celebrate it with Reyna Young and even received an award for being an outstanding women in horror. I was completely honored. PLUS, it got me to donate blood for the first time which has now become a habit, so that’s pretty awesome!
-Texas Frightmare Weekend really opened my eyes to how awesome and dedicated the fans and “industry insiders” can be. That is also the weekend I celebrated my birthday and Christy Lou Sexton from Dolls And Dead Things made me the MOST AMAZING present EVER!!!! That was the best birthday party I have ever had and I owe it all to her. Thank you , love :)
-I went to LA to film J.D. Lifsh*tz’s MODERN ROMANCE and got to work with the uber awesome MARCUS KOCH for the first time! This man is so f*cking talented and probably one of the best people ever, and coming from me, that is a pretty big statement. LOL I played “Cali”, the mean and “bitteresque” roommate of the lead character. I spend the film vomiting blood, pulling out my hair, screaming and retching in pain, and completely covered in syphilitic chancres that even made Kevin Tenney gross out. Talk about a hot and sexy Mama. One thing you will not get to see is me singing Rod Stewart’s “Don’t Ya Think I’m Sexy” to the crew while I’m covered in these hideous boils. I tried giving my costar A.J. Bowen a kiss but he wasn’t having it. Can’t blame him. ;)
This was a short list of memories but I will hold these ones very close to my heart. Thank you guys for making this happen for me!
Random Predictions for 2011
John Torrani has inspired me to make some predictions for 2011 so I am posting them here for all to see.Let’s see how many come true!
I predict for 2011…:
–Debbie Rochon will add at least 23 more credits to her IMDB page. This is one of the hardest working women in the genre so I can confidently stand behind this one. Plus, she pops out films like fat chicks pop doughnuts on Friday nights so I am pretty safe on this one, I think. ;)
-The names Bella, Jacob, and Edward will top the list of baby names of 2011 due to the retarded teenage population that will start fornicating to recreate their favorite love story and name them after their favorite retarded vampire characters.
-Paranormal Activity 3-D will be announced….and it will suck.
-The groups of 2012 theorists will be making lots of apocalyptic films to capitalize on the hype of the “upcoming” end of the world. We will start to see a turn out of more of those films.
-Many more retarded horror documentaries will come out and bore us all to death. And a few good ones…
-This shall be the year of the penis. More c**k shots will appear in films as more women start making unadulterated horror films. It’s great for controversy buzz too ;)
-Hatchet 2 will be let out on DVD and enjoy mass sales due to the controversy of it getting pulled from theaters…then the name Hatchet 2 will be accompanied with the term “Really?! They pulled THIS from theaters?! That’s retarded”.
There are a few that I can think of for the coming up year. I’m sure I have more, you will have to keep up with my FaceBook profile to find out the rest. ;)
Well that is going to conclude this edition of DAI OF THE DEAD.
I want to thank a few people before I go for making this year so awesome.
First to Nita Burson, Rebekah The Jew, and John Torrani for making our podcast shows so awesome and sticking with me for so long. You guys have been one of the best parts of this year and I can’t thank you enough.
To Christian Reilly for sticking by me and putting up with all my craziness with this job. I know you may not understand everything that I go through but you still stand by me and let me throw my tantrums. You mean the world to me.
To Kevin Tenney, you have been one of my dearest friends in this biz for a while now and so completely supportive, you are one of my biggest inspirations,
To Jeff Dylan Graham, if it weren’t for you and your loyalty to me, I probably would have went insane a while ago, ESPECIALLY this year. You are one of the reasons I am still in this business. You are one of my best friends and I wouldn’t trade you in for anything.
To BoneDigger, my partner in crime, where would I be without you?! I can’t think of a better partner than you.
And to the fans… YOU guys have been the biggest inspiration to me, hands down. Through the craziness, the insanity, the heartache, the bad times, the good times, and the awesome times, I have always been able to count on you to stand behind me and cheer me on. I can honestly say that without all of you I would have given up this business and gotten a bar job or something but you all give me a reason to keep kicking on everyday. I owe EVERYTHING to you guys and I honestly mean it when I say I adore you all. I thank you the most, with all of my heart. <3 <3 <3
There are so many people that I could go on but I won’t take up 20 more pages with it. :)
Make sure to keep a look out in 2011 to see me more on your television screens as well as your computer screens!
A few of my upcoming projects include:
Resurrection: Wrath Of Seduction
Cannibal Hookers 3-D
and the untitled Abel Berry film!
Can’t wait to see more of you guys in 2011! Have an AWESOME New Year and here’s to many more together!