Haunted Honeymoon

Film Review: Bone Sickness (2004)

SYNOPSIS:

Kristen is caring for her Terminally ill husband who is suffering from a degenerative bone disease. With no cure available she turns to a friend to help find an alternative form of medicine that has unimaginable side effects.

REVIEW:

Written by: Brian Paulin
Directed by: Brian Paulin
Starring: Darya Zabinski, Ruby Larocca, Rich George, Brian Paulin, Kevin Barbare and Ernest Hutcherson

Hell-o, Horror creatures of the night. This review is for the outrageous zombie film called Bone Sickness. I honestly think the zombie genre has been driven into the stinking earth. This film, however has to be the best one I’ve seen in a few decades. Three, to be exact. Not since the original Day of the Dead have I seen such a macabre take on the zombie genre. I’m sure that until (Nick Palumbo’s) Corpse and (Derek Womack and Tyler Hamilton’s) Fractured surface, there will not be another zombie opus better than this, in my opinion.

Just as the film itself, I am going to make this review for the most part, a literal slaughter fest. Brian Paulin is the one man walking dead behind this film. He wrote, directed, starred in… and did the score, music and special effects. I’d have to say, I am quite pleased with his work. I would like to check out other projects of his, such as Dead Girls On Film.

Since I have so much good things to say about this corpse infested slaughter fest, I’ll get the mundane downfalls out of the way at the very beginning. As great as the effects were for the most part, there were a few flaws I noticed. I would also like to state that this review for the most part, is the Gore Score, since it is so high. I give it a thirteen plus.

The acting was decent for the most part. There were no Oscar winning performances, but not too shabby as well. There was one thing I did not like, which were these talking creature like undead figures verbally referring to us humans. Not what they were saying, just the fact that they talked in general. Their voices were the only bit of cheese added to this feature. It kind of reminded me what it would have been like if Jim Henson went zombie Muppet. One more blunt and in your face flaw was the camera aimed at a television set, which made the television darker in some sections, as when you aim a camcorder at the television screen. This somewhat gave away the price of the camera used for production… Cheap. Nonetheless, this was a two second, minor flaw. Costless compared to the rest of the film. If there was only one other(very minor) thing that caught my eye, was the way that a few of the zombies walked. It was slightly unbelievable, but absolutely forgivable and redeemable as well, especially compared to the other three point ninety nine percent quarters of the feature.

As far as the fouls in the special effects go, there was a severed hand that quit bleeding too soon. There was also a head stabbing that was not so well executed. I think they noticed this, because the shot was extremely quick and over in the blink of an eye. You might miss it. As far as cinematography and direction, it was pretty well done.

I loved the cemetery shots. Most were engulfed in fog and green lighting. Some of the most wicked shots I’ve seen of the dead lands. The grave exits were nicely shot as well.. Very creepy. What’s the one thing freakier than the dead rising from the grave? The dead rising from your backyard swimming pool… as you are taking a swim. The part where he climbed out of the pool looked pretty awesome. It resembled a huge circular grave. And who would not like to see a wet zombie chasing a wet girl in a bikini (and toward the camera at that)?

Now, on with the splatter fest of a Gore Score. Not only did this film have a sh*t load, it only progressed to more violently innovative death scenes at an intense, breakneck rate. As just mentioned, the death scenes were some of the most creative I’ve seen. First, let me tell you about the basic, well done exits of life. There was a lot of your basic disembowelment and gut munching as we’ve all seen since the original Day of the Dead. It has been repeated since almost the beginning of zombie kind. There were some gruesomely executed neck bites which made other films seem like appetizers. I’m talking neck and throat ripped open from end to end. There was also a pretty cool hand grenade dismemberment. Now… on with the brutality.

One victim was impaled through the head and face with the top of a car door. It reminded me of something Final Destination could have done, but did not think of first. There was a self defleshing that reminded me the cover art for the Cannibal Corpse debut album, Eaten Back To Life, which (both scene and album) were quite awesome. A head was split with an ax and opened the rest of the way with the hands… and then feasted upon. Jason Voorhees, eat your brains out. There was a relentless and graphic decapitation with the piece of a broken headstone. The was an impalement with the barrel of a gun. Very awesome. There was a violent, live bisection with a buzz saw, which was sweet eye candy that was painful on the ears. There was a fetal removal which was the best I’ve seen (special effects wise, ladies. I’m not that sick, but the scene was enjoyable), along with a well done face stabbing. To go along with the ruthless carnage, there was regurgitating and defecating a “sh*t load” and “mouthful” blood and worms (before stuffing it all back into the mouth), some of the time while laying on the back(and splashing back into the face. This was topped off with crawling creatures such as Millipedes (named Dune), a Scorpions (named Vlad, Cthulhu and Blade… pets of the producers), a head munching dog named Russia… and plenty of blasting explosions with running, burning, screaming victims.

I have so much respect for the end as well. I love Death Metal and heavy music… but I think it’s very cheesy during the death scene of a film(unless it’s something like Traces of Death). This had no Death Metal throughout the entire feature, just a creepy score. As the end concluded and the credits rolled, showing the death scenes of each cast member with their names… The Death Metal began. It was like watching Traces… in a certain sense, only the deaths were not actual home taken footage.

All in all, this is a must see for any zombie fan. Just try to block out the little ripples in this raging sea of flowing, dead humans and blood. Besides the quick mishaps, this is a hell of a good time as far as zombie films go. If you’re a fan of the genre, this is a must see. I give this film, Bone Sickness, FOUR UNDEAD HORNS UP.

Bone Sickness (2004)

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