There’s nothing quite like the sound of a baby cryin’! That beautiful high pitched squeal, the ability to howl for minutes on end without even taking a breath. It’s what I imagine it would sound like if God were to play a harp. Aaaah the sound of a crying baby, music to my ears. Ever hear anyone say that??? Yeah me neither. It’s the sound I imagine right before I have sex with a smokin hot chick (that’s how I roll)…makes the condom feel like it belongs. Anyway, to me the sound of a crying baby is one of the scariest sounds in the world, followed closely by “I’m pregnant.”
In movies the “scary” tone can be set by the music; or a sound that the monster, house, hooker or zombie dog can make. A creaky door was scary back in the day but with the invention of WD40 the creaky door isn’t quite as scary anymore. Nor is the bat flying out of the chimney or yelling Zoinks and running the other way. “Scary” has changed throughout the years but one thing that hasn’t changed is the fact that the audio can make or break a horror film just as easily as the video. What if Freddy Kruger sounded like Mike Tyson, do you think they would have been “re-imagining” Nightmare right now? What if instead of “Ch-ch-ch-ha-ha-ha” Friday the 13th instead went with “Chill-chill-chill-out-out-out”, or if Michael Myers actually spoke in Halloween? The last one unfortunately happened. But neither here nor there where I am going with this is this: Audio can make or break the movie. And where I’m going with that is a list. Oh yeah, you heard me right…A Damn List!
So without further ado I bring you my top 7 Movies that benefitted from some spooky audio. Be afraid…be very afraid!!!
Sure right now it isn’t as scary as TV’s don’t have static anymore but in my day when you had to walk in the snow, up hill, both ways, just to see a tv show… Sorry, that never happened. But what did happen was this movie scared the sh*t outta me! I can tell you that from 1982 on I never fell asleep with the TV on. NEVER! I remember the first time I heard that fzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and “They’re here.” I couldn’t sleep for days. People always remember that clown but it was the static that set the tone for this one.
Mercedes McCambridge did the demon voice and DAMN did she do it right! Still to this day the scariest thing in cinematic history in my opinion. From “What a nice day for an exorcism” to “Your mother is in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I’ll see that she gets it.” any time Linda Blair opened her mouth and the demon spoke it gave me chills.
DA-DUM, DA-DUM, DA-DUM, DA-DUM…nothing else really needs to be said. But then again who am I to say nothing else. Every time I hear that song I lift my freakin feet up. If I’m sitting at home flipping the channels and Jaws is on I have to watch at least 5 minutes of it. Every time! Jaws starts heading for that unsuspecting waterskiing team…cue the music…BAM, feet on the couch. Feet on the couch, Feet on the couch…Lookin like a fool with your feet on the couch. Ok, maybe I should have left it at nothing else needs to be said.
4. The Grudge:
A little powder white Asian boy isn’t scary. A black cat isn’t scary. A little Asian boy that speaks cat…SCARY! When he opened his mouth I expected him to say (insert racist but still funny joke here) but instead he cat screamed…freaky!
5. Texas Chainsaw Massacre:
Did that Chainsaw sound mean or what? When he got that thing going you couldn’t help but get a chill! Trees heard that chainsaw comin and fell over on their own. It sounded MEAN! Which is why the follow up “Idaho Weed Whacker Slaughter” never really took off. Well that and lack of funding.
Pretty similar voices here and while neither are sh*t ur pants scary they both set the tone for the movie. “Wanna play a game?”…”Do you like scary movies?”…both of those pretty much signaled you not making the sequel. Again, not wicked scary, but totally essential!
7. Halloween/The Exorcist:
These two movies took the piano and made it scary! Just like Deliverance did for the banjo…and anal rape! Not a ton to say on these, the piano was pretty scary, that’s about it…thanks for playin.
Those are my top 7, in no particular order. Well, Exorcist is the scariest, but other than that no special order. Pees out!