Haunted Honeymoon

Film Review: CockHammer (2009)

SYNOPSIS:

Evil is uncircumcised.

REVIEW:

If the there is one thing that is more apparent these days especially as a film reviewer is that the industry has not rested on its laurels to just sit around and wait for things to happen. The new age of guerilla filmmaking and self produced, self distributed releases is upon us. This is both a curse and blessing depending on who you are and what your preference is. The latest release that came upon me was a film by the odd name of “Cockhammer”. Now before you assume chickens …guess again!

“CockHammer” is the name of the main crime boss psycho transplanted lost soul/ demon entity who delves in snuff p*rn. With a history of production films that once were appreciated for there cinematic quality, he now has embarked on a more diabolical path of filming young girls stupid enough to join his production so he can kill them on camera. The purpose as he so eloquently explains …the bodies provide a conduit bwtween the mortal world and the netherworld. These rites of passage help him to communicate with the elder gods by the sacrifice of living flesh. The black mage diary provides the needed passages to call upon the underworld.

Now usually when the first thing you see is a disclaimer warning you should expect the worse. That is from a moral psychotic standard. Well Cock Hammer lives up to its name with every dirty joke, vulgarity, twisted psycho speaking dialog line it can muster. The fun of it though is that its so absurd and blatant that it becomes down and out comedy. Even though there is no comparison I kept thinking of the film Clerks for some reason. Probaly because of the main actor Thaddeus Starbuckle who plays the role of Wolfram Hart who is a drop dead likeness to the well known Clerks actor Jason Mewes. Which if you close your eyes would think was playing the role.

Cock hammer was directed and written by Kevin Strange who also doubles up to play the roles of Cockhammer and Hogan. Now I won’t deny the obvious here…this film is not meant for 95% of the film viewers out there. Meaning extreme adult content ! However in all it’s disgusting, slutty, ball wacking, pud smacking kill the bitch comedy horror exploits it is still is a fun watch. The film itself is filmed very cheaply using off the shelf handhelds and little in the way of any digital editing finesse. Though the dialog is the real star here which flows out of the mouth of the actors and actresses like they were born to recite it. The offbeat humor has it’s twists of course throwing in demons from another realm and the final appearance of the real Cockhammer himself that is influenced by Gwar and probably a slew of Asian productions.

Upon research this is one of several productions the team of Hack movies has produced which means there’s plenty more where that came from. Their IMDB credits list several productions in a short time frame …..which means these guys are on a role.

This production was actually picked up by Tempe Video suggesting the temperament of film cultures has evolved into the extreme absurd. I’m ok with that in limited doses. I’m not going to claim this is more than what it really is …which is guerilla filmmaking in its entirety. I am gonna give these guys a small shout out that I’d like to see more. Even for the script lines alone its worth some great off the wall comments that are funny as hell. Be warned there plenty of titty smack, balls in the face and butt hole humor that wont please your grandma…so keep the volume low.

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