Former police officer Ryan has left the city life with his daughter Jessica for a much simpler life up in the mountains. For the most part things really are simpler in fact the only real worries Ryan runs into are busting bear poachers with his partner Crystal. It’s these bear poachers however that cause quite a problem when they find not a bear in one of their traps but a Sasquatch. Not knowing that the poachers have the beast stored in the back of their truck Ryan and Crystal bring the cargo back into the city just in time for big foot to wake up with a horrible headache and the need to terrorize the city.
“That aint a bear!”
Directed by: Andrew Gernhard
Starring: Kevin Shee, Greg Nutcher, Sarah J. Ahearn
I have friends that love when I get new movies and will call me immediately asking what I’ve gotten and if they can come by to watch it. Upon hearing the title Assault of the Sasquatch one of my friends immediately informed me that he wanted to see such a film and was over the next day ready to view it, little did I know just what we were getting into.
Assault of the Sasquatch is a low budget film full of unknowns and some pretty shoddy creature designs (the sasquatch is simply a man in a suit with a mask on!) however the sets and lighting used in the film are very nice and the whole feature is just full of so much heart that it is impossible not to like and enjoy the movie.
The main plot of the film revolves around Ryan who is a single father and his daughter Jessica. Jessica has recently started college and is desperately trying to leave the nest, but Ryan makes this quite hard for his daughter. There is a reason why Ryan is so protective however and it is shown via flashback that years ago Ryan was a cop in the city when his home was invaded by burglars. During the struggle his wife was murdered by one of the men, Ryan constantly deals with this torment and it is quite easy to see why he refuses to let his daughter grow up.
It is a routine day for Ryan and his partner Crystal (who smokes weed while on the job) when they suddenly come across a group of bear poachers lead by a man named Drake. Drake is an older man who has many scars and is forced to wear an eye patch. Drake and his boys have just found a sasquatch in one of their traps and instead of killing the beast they simply shot it with enough tranquilizers and shoved it into the back of the their truck. When Ryan and Crystal bust the group they bring Drake and his truck back into the police station, which is conviently going through renovations and is running on a skeleton crew including rookie cop Jameson who has a crush on Jessica. It doesn’t take long for big foot to wake up in the back of the truck and begin to go on a spree of terror that could only be dreamed up in the minds of all of those who enjoy B monster films!
I’ve stated above that the creature designs for Assault of the Sasquatch aren’t very good, however the gore effects as big foot makes his way around the city are quite top notch for the budget. There are several scenes with heads splattering and arms being ripped off; this isn’t the big foot you see in the commercials pushing over golf carts this big foot will straight up throw a mail box at you!
There are several other characters involved in the sasquatches assault from a prostitute to two nerdy types who just want to capture some more footage of the sasquatch on their video camera, for the most part the scenes with the two nerdy guys got a few chuckles out of me but after a while the two characters just became quite annoying and I was more than relieved when the focus moved to another group of characters.
The actual fun part of the film however is simply watching big foots reactions to his new surroundings. Apparently Sasquatch love pizza and in a pretty funny scene our hero is seen pulling a piece of pizza out from under a drunks face so that he can enjoy it.
There is also a pretty funny shower sequence which involves a very beautiful woman, a song that simply keeps repeating “Yeah my booties poppin’”, and the death of a Chihuahua by the Sasquatch’s own big feet.
One doesn’t watch a movie with a title like Assault of the Sasquatch expecting a grand piece of cinema; however it does give you exactly what you want to see with a great mix of gore and humor. There are also several lessons to be learned in the film for instance one shouldn’t mace a Sasquatch because he WILL throw a mailbox at you.