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Film Review: Halloween Pussy Trap Kill Kill (2017)

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SYNOPSIS:

” The evil genius manages to lure the girls into his Hell House, and when they wake up from being gassed, they find themselves trapped inside an unescapable room filled with a vicious variety of devices that can kill them as well as a variety of weapons that can be used on each other.
 
The rules are simple: advance through all three rooms and you are allowed to go free. The catch is, in order to make it to the next room, someone must die!
 
With a ticking clock, and the mastermind watching, the question becomes… are you willing to kill to stay alive?”

REVIEW:

Writer-Director Jared Cohn brings something different in time for Halloween.  The film Halloween Pussy Trap Kill Kill (2017) starts off at “October 31, 1996” and we see a kick ass Captain Lewis (A real life bad ass Paul Logan) in a war-zone. The effects and the locations are instantly different because with Cohn’s films you never see the same thing. It shows the creativity he has.

We see Paul Logan in a rather horrible situation. You always want to root for Logan! The war lord leader wants to know why we celebrate Halloween, such a “stupid day.” The war lords do some insanely horrible torture to the soldiers and then….

We hear a voice-over that may be paying some homage to “Saw” and Liam Neeson in “Taken”

“There will be justice, there will be vengeance.” 

Cut ahead to a massive party with the all-girl group and a Halloween party that no one would ever complain about. The all-girl group singing and entertaining the crowd. I felt a little nod to “Serial Mom.” It was a rad moment. Amber Stardust (Sara Malakul Lane) is the calm, cool and collective singer.

Misty (Kelly McCart) and DJ Speed (Demetrius Stear) head out to the van in the parking lot and get into some fun trouble. We find a masked, mysterious man approach the van and DJ Speed goes a little crazy on the masked man in the wheelchair.

The masked man oddly dressed in military gear wishes the group a “Happy Halloween.” It is strange and quick that you barely notice the man (which is not creepy at all) Roger (Tristan Ott) is the girl’s manager and the driver. We find them at an abandoned gas station (why are gas stations in Horror movies always empty?) Meanwhile because people can never stay together in the groups, Misty goes missing! We also meet Dale (Richard Grieco) who is lurking around. He always adds to a film. As Roger panics and the girls argue over where Misty went, Dale (Richard Grieco) has a look of bemusement on his face as the girls and Roger try to “bail” the trusty (never get in a van) van takes a crap. Grieco sitting and watching the semi-argument go down is the best part of this scene. Dale is not fazed at all.

With the van in need of a mechanic, Dale the mechanic offers them a ride to his “uncles” house. No, thank you! During a brief ride to the “uncles” house. The van Dale offered is not so much a van as we are in for a wild ride of craziness in close quarters. He shows them his mask…. Why? Why do people get in cars with strangers (Even if it is Richard Grieco, no offense, we love you Richard) but come on!

Dale has a secret, you will have to watch to find out! We find the girls and Roger passed out, well semi-passed out in what looks like a cleaner version of something John Kramer (Jigsaw/Tobin Bell) would have in case he needed to lock up a bunch of people.

Panic kicks in when they realize they are trapped! Roger gets it, “obviously this was thought out.” The blame and yelling goes on as they run around frantically to bang on doors. Cat Sloane (Lauren Parkinson) says it best, “nobody fucking listens to me.” In her adorable orange tutu she advises she tried to warn them and she is also an expert on concrete! “We’re f*cked!” She is not wrong!

The scary voice-over is back but not just any voice, it is The Mastermind (Dave Mustaine) Mustaine is not there in person according to Jared but his voice alone powerful enough alone. The Mastermind tells them the “rules” if you will. Cohn’s camera work shows the difficult situation and type of panic of being trapped in a room. I had to get up and walk outside a few times.

The Mastermind has an “experimentation” planned for them.  There may be an homage or maybe a tribute to “Saw” but clearly Cohn has his own ideas of torture, chaos and horror that these people will go through. Fears and torments appear as The Mastermind seems pleased with his work. There are some crazy things happening and to add to the trauma, Misty reappears (Did Negan get to her?)

The Mastermind adds an insane twist into the mix and Roger and the girls find out the crazy way they have to advance to another room. There is a gun added and poor Bridgette (Kelly Lynn Reiter) makes a difficult decision. The Mastermind also appears to have a family. Trick or treat! Meanwhile, back to DJ Speed who is partying it up while his friends are trapped. (We all have that one friend!)

DJ Speed finds himself at Dale’s gas station. He seems like he could possibly make it! DJ Speed meets Dale and finds himself at the “uncles” house. As you watch you start yelling, don’t go in the house, don’t go in the house! Do they listen? You never know. They have cell phones but you can guess, there is no signal. The Mastermind delivers more rules and choices. Cat is making crazy offers (Don’t do it) Guns and poisonous gas do not mix!

The Mastermind adds more rules and DJ Speed and his new friends are now a part of madness. The girls have moved on slightly and Dale shows up with a “Howdy!” There is a lot happening but it is a fun film to watch. DJ Speed seems to be a fighter after all (maybe a little crazy too) DJ Speed is “sick of this sh*t” and I think Dale is too. The Mastermind may open a few doors but he has some more madness up his sleeve.

Cohn added various twist and turns that makes this movie fun and scary. The cast did a good job being stuck and scared together. The Mastermind has them battle a final game but do they make it? We also find Dale has an insane baseball bat that would make Negan from “The Walking Dead” proud. Amber is losing her mind but in the same way you’re “fight or flight” kicks in. The Mastermind gives Amber a crazy choice and she didn’t exactly nail it.

“Well, son of a b*tch, that’s what I call Happy Halloween.”

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