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Film Review: Zombie Bloodbath 3: Zombie Armageddon (2000)

SYNOPSIS:

A bunch of zombies that are used by the government to fight in a major war in the near future get launched into space. The space shuttle gets caught in a time warp and returns to Earth in the present day. Naturally, the zombies get loose and terrorize a motley assortment of folks who are trapped inside a high school.  

REVIEW:

If you ask ten people to describe “beauty,” you’ll likely get ten very different concepts. The same applies in describing quality, in terms of low-budget horror movies. Scholars and snobs may insist “quality” means groundbreaking, well-shot, or well-acted. Hipsters might also chime in “quality” means whatever’s popular at the moment.

Fortunately, Zombie Bloodbath III is none of those things. In fact, it’s really quite stupid, and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone I care to remain friends with.

But my definition of quality is “fun, macabre, and batshit crazy.” And boy, did this movie steal my heart (and brain).

The premise alone is fantastic—zombies in space! Regardless of slapdash editing and gore effects, you’ve gotta admit those three words are enough to grab your attention. And the director, Todd Sheets, does a pretty good job giving Brian Eklund’s screenplay its due diligence—whatever sick, twisted stuff you imagine happening with zombies in space shuttles, this creative duo tops your expectations. Again, the gore effects leave a lot to be desired, but if you’ve ever seen the primitive effects in one of the old GWAR films, you have an idea what sort of schlock to expect.

One thing that bothered me was the acting. That’s not to say anyone’s acting was terrible, only that half the actors seemed to be in on the joke while the other half were striving to give Oscar-worthy performances. It’s very distracting, and it made me confused about how seriously I was supposed to take the movie.

This problem wouldn’t be so prominent if not for the pacing in the first half of the movie. A scene featuring two high school radio nerds droning on about nothing made me wonder if Sheets was channeling Kevin Smith. If so, he needs to watch Clerks a few more times, because he clearly doesn’t understand why the incoherent ramblings of two averages Joes worked so well for Kevin Smith.

If you’re unsure whether or not to give this movie a chance, you need merely watch the first few minutes to get the gist of the beautiful mess. As previously stated, I actually enjoyed it overall, and I could imagine it being played from a projector at any local punk rock bar.

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